Trust in TRUST?

One day, my daughter dropped an interesting question, ‘how to trust a person?’

This question made me think. ‘What is TRUST?’ ‘How do we trust others?’

Trust is the fundamental basis of any healthy and long-lasting relationship, whether in romance, marriage, friendship, partnership, business, or between parents and children, siblings, teachers and students, clients and coaches, etc. Strong relationships devel on unconditional acceptance and trust. Trust grows as time passes and becomes more valuable.

Trust is a two-sided, time-consuming process that needs to be built upon. Trust cannot be forcibly earned or easily given. Trust is not freely available. Whenever I start a new relationship (I am not talking about romantic relationships), I ask myself, Can I trust that person? What can I trust them for? Especially in my relationship with my life coaching clients, I ask myself, ‘How is the client receiving me’?

Let us go back to my daughter’s question, how can we trust someone? 

We trust someone when we feel the person is credible. 

 Don’t you agree? We look for credibility in doctors, teachers, parents, partners, friends, shopkeepers, brands. Would you go to a person who is not convincing? Can you depend on someone who is improbable? A credible person listens attentively and respectfully. Enthusiasm and commitment are established along with credibility in a trustworthy person. 

We trust someone when they are reliable. 

We depend on supporting, well-grounded persons. Reliable people do not indulge in half-hearted promises. They own up to their flaws and take responsibility for their actions. They do the right things with integrity and are open to constructive feedback. Empathy and honesty are vital characteristics of a reliable person. You can trust them because they trust you back. 

We trust someone when our relationship becomes deep(intimate). 

 Relativeness draws two people together. As time goes by and efforts become more assertive, intimacy grows in any relationship, even though it starts at a shallow level. A strong foundation with unconditional acceptance and commitment is required to attain intimacy in an association among people. There is no place for any power struggle or selfishness in intimacy. The affinity does not draw dependency.   

So, this is the formula for trusting someone:  

Are they credible? Are they reliable? Can your relationship go to a deeper level? 

Imagine the process of building trust is like the construction of one multi-level building. And the trust is on the terrace level. It takes time and effort to reach the terrace from the basement. It happens one step at a time. If you become impatient and jump to the intimacy stage without addressing the other levels of connection, acceptance, and commitment, that type of acquaintance is not maintained with trust.

We need to trust the process of trust.

The process goes through different layers and stages like love, attraction (in a romantic relationship), relativity, honor, respect, independence, honesty, consistency, self-control, listening, authenticity, openness, empathy, and collaboration. Trust is not freely acquired without labor. 

How to build trust:

Trust is exceptionally delicate and crucial in any kind of relationship. Trust takes a very long time to build but seconds to lose. It is challenging to rebuild but not impossible. Your life becomes easy and more fulfilling when you are trustworthy to others. Trust allows you to be yourself and feel safe and secure. 

a) Talk openly about your trust issues. 

b) Forgive often (self and others). 

c) Be trustworthy yourself and show your willingness to trust. 

d) Be committed and honor your words and actions. 

e) Be honest and genuine. 

f) Practice efficient and empathetic communication. 

g) Don’t be afraid of your flaws and vulnerabilities. 

h) Be independent and avoid power struggles. 

i) Be inclusive of humanity, keeping the biases at bay. 

j) Acknowledge your needs and be considerate of others’ needs.

In Myself I Trust 💪

 The most crucial step to trusting someone else is to start trusting yourself. Self-trust leads you to be authentic and graceful. Self-doubts start to disappear when you begin to trust in yourself. You become mindful of your emotions, and self-awareness peaks.  Why should anybody else trust you if you don’t trust yourself? 

This is a piece of wisdom for my daughter/s: