” Where are you cutting from, copying, and pasting your blogs?”
When one of our cousins asked me this question, I felt bad. I felt insulted at that moment and began giving him an explanation of how I started writing, my writing styles, and the content creation process, etc.
This happened when my husband was alive, and I complained to him, mentioning how my emotions were dampened. He heard me as always, looked me in the eyes, and said, “Let them be”. I was puzzled to hear that, but somehow, I felt relieved. I stopped there, and those three words made me think.
In our discussion, later, we contemplated and concluded that we did not have the power to change anyone or their opinions. They would change only if they wanted to, so we should not waste time clarifying. It is always better to let them be.
Have you ever felt misunderstood? Or questioned about your integrity?
The misunderstood feeling is hurtful. When we are questioned, we are left with a fuming sensation. Whenever the left-out feeling creeps in, we reason or blame.
It is indeed distressing when someone ignores you, does not call you, criticises you, finds faults with you, shows their displeasure, or disapproves of you. Though most of the time, we pretend to be okay, but are hurting inwardly. Those overwhelming thoughts linger for quite some time, refusing to depart, and eventually turn into a painful situation.
So the important question here is how to deal with this kind of situation. Explaining or reasoning with others would not change anything at all. Then, what about our resentments? What about the hurting? What about the discomfort it creates? What about the falling self-esteem? What about the lingering emotional wounds? What about the anguish we sense?
We cannot afford to be emotionally detached here, as it can create hurdles in our mental well-being. Also, emotional detachment has a hidden danger with it, which is loneliness and isolation.
But, we must break free from that ruminating and disrupting bundle of thoughts and taste the freedom. The three-word phrase “ let them be” is a quick fix for that. ‘Let them be’- the mantra safeguards our emotions and takes us away from people-pleasing behaviours. It assures us that we cannot live by someone else’s terms and conditions.
“Choosing peace is not a weakness; it is power. And the true power lies in your response. “
Martin Luther III
After my beloved’s passing, this phrase, ‘ Let them Be,’ surrounded me everywhere I went. Whenever I felt discomfort because of anyone’s gestures, behaviours, or opinions, I thought of this phrase: let them be. It gave me an unexplained comfort and power to let go of what is not in my control.
So I started doing this mantra of ‘Let them be’ in all situations.
Someone doesn’t like me, ‘let them be’, I should not worry about their liking or disliking.
Someone has a bad opinion about me, ‘let them be’, it is their opinion, it may or may not change as time passes.
Someone thinks I am not a writer; let them be; it is their perception or lack of knowledge.
Someone doesn’t like my behaviour; let them be, they cannot be my judge
Someone does not like to talk to me; let them be. I cannot force them to do so
Someone doesn’t want to visit me; let them be, it is their choice, and I respect it
Someone does not like me being a blogger; let them be; they do not have to read my blogs
Someone does not like my way of coaching, let them be, don’t attend my coaching sessions
I felt free the day I refused to bear the burden of managing other people in my life. Instead, I took care of my self-esteem and confidence. I want my readers to use the mantra ‘Let them be’ and feel the freedom and strength.
You cannot live by someone else’s terms and conditions.
Someone doesn’t want you to attend their wedding celebration, let them be; you don’t lose anything.
Someone does not respect you, let them be; bring in your self-respect
Someone does not want to date you, let them be; they are not the only ones
Someone thinks you are not good enough, let them be; you boost your self-awareness
Someone does not approve of you; let them be. You are born without their approval.
It is time for you to feel free from the apprehensions and internalisations. Bring balance to your life by preserving your inner peace. Disempower others to hurt or disregard you. Use the mantra: LET THEM BE
And it means, you are letting others live their life as they wish and at the same time letting go of your demands and expectations. If you are an authentic, sincere and grounded person, you should not worry about others’ likes and dislikes. You are not obliged to anyone for their opinions and behaviours.
Disclaimer: You must be careful that this mantra, ‘let them be,’ should not become an excuse to be rude to others. It is a mantra for self-protection and freedom, not for ghosting or ignoring. It is not a free pass for discrimination or disrespect. You need to take responsibility for your decisions and actions towards yourself and the world.
-Habeeba Waseem, Founder & LifeSkills Coach, MindsOnFleek