Que sera sera

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, 
What will I be?
Will I be pretty? 
Will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me

"Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be!
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be!"

This is one of my favorite Hollywood songs, which gives the message of not worrying about the future but simply having ‘faith.’

We plan, we hope, we wish, we dream, we expect many things for the future, though the outcome may be uncertain and ambiguous.

Why do we fear the future??
Why do we feel anxious about the things or events that are yet to happen?

The anxiety and stress about the future cause major havoc in life. The ‘what if ‘ questions make us lose our sanity for no reason. We bother about the outcomes though it is not under our control. The negative visualization of the undetermined future intensifies the fears.

‘Fear’ is an important emotion that warns us about some dangerous things or situations. Fear cautions us and protects us. But those fears hinder personal growth when they become hostile and habitual.

We fear what is going to happen, we stress about having ill-health, someone dying or losing a dear one to sickness, scoring low grades in the exams, losing a job, rejections, failures, not getting an increment, inflation, war, and its consequences on a personal level, aging…. the list of fears are never-ending. The most common thing in these fears is that it hasn’t yet happened. It’s about the future.

The fear of past traumatic experiences happening again makes it horrifying and toxic. Our minds are influential in creating negative fantasies and bad things which may occur that can paralyze our growth.

Conquering fear.

My paternal grandmother (Umma) used to tell me that the emotion ‘fear of the unseen’ is evoked whenever our ‘faith’ (she called it ‘eman’) is ebbed. According to her, if the attribute ‘faithfulness’ is more robust, there is no room for fear, stress, worries, and anxiety.

Faith is a state of feeling confident and trusting. It is one of the components of an affective psychological state, according to Clegg. He suggests that ‘faith is one’s overall ‘default’ attitude on life that provides a valuable foundation for flourishing. Its loss is recognized as the ‘psychic calamity.’ Faith is unseen but is the strength and hope that moves us ahead while life stands on an edge. Faith imbues a sense of serenity and extricates from fearfulness.

How can we embrace a ‘faithful’ life?

Identifying your fears and acknowledging them is the first step to faithful living. Though an uncomfortable process, facing your fears (the best way is to write them down) will allow you to identify the negative thinking patterns.

Prayers are one of the ways to conquer fears and improve faith. A religiously devoted person can do it effortlessly or quickly. To determine your full potential and achieve it compassionately, you need to be a believer. Prayer is a beautiful guide to calmness. A religious person cherishes religious faith as a massive enabler for keeping away from the complaints or disapproval of others.

Is it only religious faith ??

In usual terms, ‘faith’ is acquainted with religious doctrine. But the freedom which is experienced through trusting humankind is tremendous. For leading a faithful life, we need to revise and let go of the controlling behaviors. One has to have faith in ’the creator’ and his creations.

Let me elaborate:

Imagine you are traveling in a bus, auto-rickshaw, metro, uber, train, plane…
How do you know you will reach your destination?
Is it not your faith?
Do you know bus drivers, auto drivers, metro pilots, taxi drivers, engine drivers, or pilots personally?Can you control them?
Are not they total strangers to you? Still, you have the faith that you will reach your destination with their help. You have faith in them.

The same is applicable when we order from a restaurant. We have the faith that they would deliver good, fresh food. While sending children to school, parents have the faith that they will get educated and become victorious.

Good faith in the law includes the honesty and loyalty of the parties engaging in a contract.

Unknowingly we exhibit the trait of ‘faithfulness’ in every field of life. Faith is the key to overpowering unnecessary fears about the future. Knowingly or consciously replace fear with faith.

Faith or hope?

A conscious effort is made to overcome fears by trusting oneself, the universe, God, and others. We may replace fears with empowering faith. Trick yourself into thinking something positive whenever you feel like immersing yourself in fears and worries. Are you aware that ‘Hope is an idea based on faith’?

But can faith or hope guarantee that you will never face any difficult situations? No, not at all!!
You will face difficulties and struggles in life but will be equipped to conquer your fears in better ways. As the ‘faith’ in our minds grows powerful, the thought process becomes more transparent and more positive. Faith improves benevolence and aplomb in individuals. Learn and practice the 3-ways to live faithfully.

Whenever I feel threatened by my future imaginations, and the fear creeps in, I hum these lines:

"Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be!
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be!"

 A song by Doris Day and Frank De Vol