35 pieces & a drink of love

This is not the story of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ who were reluctant to separate from each other even in their death. These are the stories of two victims who were trauma-bound with their perpetrators and believed in divine love.

Lovers feel a spark in their eyes and butterflies in their stomachs, and it’s all about affection when they fall in love. Love relations are a beautiful time of excitement and pleasure.

When does it take an ugly turn and fill with murderous thoughts and killing streeks?

35 pieces of love

The horrific news about Shraddha, a 27year old Vasai girl, and her murder in Delhi by her boyfriend/living-in partner shook India. The horrendous crime was a copy of an English serial called ‘Dexter’ where the serial killer protagonist kills his victims and cuts them into pieces before disposing of the bodies.

The victim, Shraddha, was cut into 35 pieces and thrown into the jungle nearby Delhi. The murderer was reportedly abusing and torturing her regularly in their relationship. He allegedly blackmailed Shraddha to stay in the relationship, threatening her with suicide or killing. Shraddha tried to escape the relationship many times, according to her friends, but in vain. She stayed on in the tormenting relationship till her horrific death.

A drink of love

In October, Sharon raj, a 23-year-old boy, was poisoned and killed by his lover in Parasshala, Kerala. She allegedly attempted to poison him several times, mixing paracetamol and other tablets in juices to get rid of him and their relationship. She wanted to get married to an army officer with better prospects.

 Sharon raj faced a painful death after consuming a poisonous pesticide, mixed Ayurveda concoction prepared by his girlfriend. Sharon raj died in a private hospital after his internal organs stopped functioning one after another in 9 days. Till his last breath, Sharon never blamed his lover nor doubted her. Why so? 

How do you define love??

Love is a strong positive emotion, comprising an intense feeling of affection and care. You strive to become better when in a relationship. It ameliorates your surroundings too. Love has the magical power to create something beautiful and sacred and makes you worth living. A love relationship is a connection with commitment and acceptance. In an honest, healthy relationship, there should be no room for deceit, manipulation, abuse, and toxicity.

So how do you know it is going wrong?

These are a few obvious warning signs which make our conscious question us, but they are mostly ignored. Our intuition pricks us about something wrong till the very last, but sadly we blame it on our overthinking. The following pointers are to make one aware and cautious about the toxic relationships they might be trapped in.

The red flags of an abusive relationship:

🚩Lies, lies, lies, and more lies: When you catch your partner frequently lying without any remorse, it is indeed a warning sign. For any relationship to flourish, ‘trust’ is a significant factor.

🚩Possessiveness vs. Obsessiveness: Being a little possessive and protective about your partner is natural in a relationship. But the abusive partner’s overwhelming protection and obsessiveness make it challenging to have a smooth sail in life.

🚩Threatening and/or Blackmailing: Emotional blackmailing tactics are used by the manipulative partner/s to make the other person comply with their demands. It is a subtle way of intimidating, ‘if you don’t comply, there will be consequences.’

🚩Controlling behaviors: They impose control through fear, obligation, threats, guilt, etc., to make you obey by domination. It is a way of limiting your freedom and independence.

🚩An unwillingness to own mistakes: Instead of correcting themselves, these abusers put the blame on their partner/s. For example, ‘I talked to my family/friends/ elders, and they all say you are the one who is absurd/ wrong.’

🚩Constantly putting you down: Gaslighting by misinterpreting, pointing fingers at you for everything, finding faults with you, etc., force you to lose your self-worth and self-esteem.

🚩Isolating you from family, friends, colleagues, and other relations: If your social activities are controlled and prohibited, this is a signal of social abuse. Isolating you from your dear ones is a tactic to keep you away from the love and support of others.

🚩Extreme jealousy: Most of the abusers in a relationship exhibit extreme jealousy toward their partner. Their jealousy may arise for any reason, such as the partner’s beauty, skin color, race, friendships, job, possessions, or social connections.

🚩Dependency on alcohol and other intoxicating substances: Alcohol and substance abuse often leads to violent behaviors in adults and adolescents. Intoxication plays a big part in violent crimes and sexual assaults.

🚩Any form of abuse: Any form of abuse that affects a partner’s well-being, whether physical, psychological, emotional, financial, or sexual, is a big red flag.

What can you do if you spot any of these red flags?

Say NO TO ABUSE. Pay enough attention to the dynamics of your relationship; have an open conversation with your partner. Take professional/ medical help to resolve the conflicts. Reach out to your dear and near ones or the authorities with haste. Practice self-love and give great importance to your emotional and physical health. As a measure of protection, familiarize yourself with the signs of emotional blackmailing and intimidation. Refuse to succumb to blackmailing tactics. Set a boundary and do not tolerate any form of violence. 

Know that you are the most important person; your safety should be the utmost priority.

It is crucial to be alert and vigilant in whichever relationship you are in.

Have you seen or experienced any of these red flags in your past or current relationships? Or do you know someone trapped or in such a toxic relationship?

Connect with us, and feel free to share your experiences with us.